written, really anything, about what is going on around me in the world. refrained from it actually, for the last number of years. not because i do not see the headlines, or read the articles, or hear about this bit of craziness, or that atrocity from others. no, it is more to the point that i cannot allow those bits of, no, not bits, myriad amounts of let’s say, unsettling goings on, to infiltrate my being.

yes, i see most things, and i remember more, usually at 3am when i am wide awake, but writing about them, to me, just reinforces their presence in my life.

take that idiot down south, and his ‘we drank the kool-aid’ minions. i could sit here and write for days about that fucking child.

having lived in the middle east for almost 1/3 of my life, i saw way too much violence in the name of God, Allah, Yahweh, whichever name you want to use, but to me, 9/11 aside, the atrocities being committed now, in Ukraine, in Yemen (still), in places under the radar and yes, in Gaza, make what i saw pale in comparison.

Everyone has a viewpoint, be it left right or centrist. I think though, what people have forgotten, is that we are all members of this idiotic race called human. Well, most of us are. I think that idiot down south is a fucking alien, but that aside, being human i think that we should all sort of just stop, take a moment, and see that we need to pull together and get this shit right. No?

my flat, where i live, looks out to the north and the west. to the west, a building where i used to work at times, and the north, a hotel/residence, and a building occupied by one of Canada’s newspapers. This newspaper allows a person, many people, to submit editorials, and one such person, who used to be a Lord, then became a convicted felon, does so, from time to time. Now, this person, is erudite, well written if you like big words that you need to have the Oxford or Cambridge next to you, but he is living in the old world of white privilege. He is wealthy. He is older. He is white. and he sees the world through those eyes. He applauded that moron to the south bringing into America, ‘white’ refugees from South Africa. Really. Huh.

That to me just sums it up. White.

Notice if you will, most of the anti this and anti that rhetoric that is being spewed forth every day, at least in North America, is from the right, and from whites. Apart from that fucking moron Faulkner that is, and she has herself a whole other set of issues.

We are living in a world, that is being defined by an 80 year old 5 year old, who is so desperate to have people tell him that the sun shines out of his ass, that has forgotten how to be human.

/end rant

So, take a moment today to be nice to someone, even someone you don’t know. Say please and thank you, as manners are free. Take the time to smile, laugh, help someone that needs it. You just might start a trend.

As always, i hope that you and yours are safe and sound, and that conflict isn’t touching your lives,

And, as always,

I bid you,

Peace

800 books i think, on my shelves at home. most of which are books books, but some, 140 i think, are cookbooks. and of those, i really don’t use any, maybe 3 or 4. don’t ask me, i don’t know… LOL.

at any rate, i have decided, once i get back home, to start reading my collection, one shelf at a time, starting, i think, with ‘the idiot’ by Dostoevsky. seems fitting considering that for the most part, and the better part of the last year or so, that’s what i have been. longer if you include the time before i started taking care of my parents.

going through life without too much thought on the future, yet having the future always present in my thoughts. yeah, i know, that makes no sense to you, but to me, it does.

i’ve begun watching Chefs Table again. No, not the Legends version because, while i do think that he is a talented chef, Jamie Oliver to me, isn’t a legend. Alice Waters, yes, of course, she of Chez Panisse fame. Thomas Keller, French Laundry and Per Se, although i read that Per Se in NYC wasn’t as good as everyone thinks it is.

Anyhow, i’ve been watching the France version, with Alain Passard, Michel Troisgros, Alexandre Coullion, and Adeline Grattard. the original chefs table, had 6 seasons, and for the most part, i might watch one or two episodes as the chefs in the rest don’t give me much enthusiasm, but Massimo, Magnus, Musa, and a few others, really speak to me. plus the BBQ series, as Rodney Scott is pretty cool.

at any rate, my passion for food, although i really don’t cook anymore, is still quite present in my life, and i hope, one day, to get back to the place where i can cook, plate, and watch others enjoy what i make. that’s what is actually partially driving me on this dietary journey. the ability, one day, to be able to just cook, enjoy, and give others some of my passion.

officially today, i’ve lost 10.1kg, so hooray for me i say, kudos and accolades abound.

not a lot else going on, but there are plans for the future. i know some of what that includes, but, like everyone else, the future and what it holds is, for the most part, up for grabs. i know what i want to have happen, in a month, two months, a year, two years, however, the fates may have something other than what i desire in mind.

until then though, i will do what i do, and continue thinking, dreaming, planning, and journeying down my path.

as always, i wish you and yours to be safe from harm, and healthy,

and as always,

i bid you,

peace

my life changing, the other day, in a matter of weeks, then months, then just about 2 years. well, the last year would be more of a ‘yeah, i don’t really care about this anymore’ year, but whatever the case, my life, such as it is, is going to be altered, again.

to be honest, my life, most likely should have ended, several times in the past, not least of which was having a heart attack, or several (didn’t know), lo these five years ago. also, at various points of my colourful at times, and varied existence on this planet we call Earth, i, in all probability, should have perished. leaving behind, depending on the timing of the event, a legacy that went from a nothingburger, to a new father, to a parttime caregiver to well, just me.

huh. spell check likes nothingburger, but doesn’t like colourful. fucking americans.

anyhow, here i am, on the cusp of yet another set of alterations to my path, well, yes, ok, my path, and i am not entirely sure what i feel about it.

on one hand, i’m excited for what these are about to bring about. an ease of my daily life, a security of sorts, with what i need to do, and how i will do it, and yet, on the other hand, i have five fingers. LOL. well, four and a thumb, but you take my point.

no, all jesting aside, on the other hand, i have sort of an unknown looming before me. unknown in the sense that, while these changes are going to bring, among other things, a serious financial security to my life, and perhaps, some of those around me, the path(s) i want to tread down, for the most part, aren’t clear.

i do know who and what i will take care of, when the time is right, not the least of which is my son (not his mother, not on your aunt annies fanny), my oldest friend, probably my first wife, some charitable organizations, and a few other things. but, that’s small compared to what i think i will want to do.

lost almost 10kg by the by, so if nothing else, i do have that going for me at the moment.

at any rate, this post isn’t about ‘hey, i’m going to be something or other’ more that i wanted a follow up to what i wrote the other day.

will i still get ‘asks’? yeah, i am sure those will never stop. will i give in to my ‘niceness’? no. i don’t think i will. like i penned the other day, those days are over. take that how you want it, and you can call me any number of names, phrases, etc. as you want, but i have given, and given in for far too long, at too great a cost to my own well being, and that had to stop. and stop it has.

yes, ok, there are a few of you, that i will still see my way clear to help on occasion, but for the most part, the banks doors are closed, and the gone out of business sign has been hung in the window.

other than all of the above, i am actually excited to see what the next two years will bring. i have a list of things that i want to accomplish, and i know, based on some high level conversations that i have had, myriad other projects will show up. my feeling anyhow.

personally i want to keep on my dietary journey, and get to a point where i know that i will be comfortable with being there, and get into a bit better shape. do some travelling, but travel for me, not for work, or for others. i want a home. not a flat, a house. well, it might be a flat, but a much larger one, and one that i own.

a circle of friends perhaps, but not really a necessity, as i know enough people, and if i don’t have a raucous social life, then i don’t. being alone, whilst not ideal, isn’t something that is onerous to me. it either is, or it isn’t. either way, i can find enough to do. almost 800 books will keep me busy i’m sure. LOL.

all i do know is that i’m going to start, or at least try to start, being more selfish. more ‘me centric’ if that is a phrase. for too long i’ve let things go that weren’t on my agenda, and acquiesced to the timings, and plans of others, and now, in the early winter of my life, and about damn time, i’m going to revert to my halcyon days of youth where i did what i did, and damn the torpedoes.

how are you guys by the way? everyone safe? healthy? life treating you as it should? i hope so, from the bottom of my size 10’s (44 in EU). the world, it seems, has given in to the madness that is the leader of the morons to the south of me, and who knows not what the next year will bring, but the next 10 minutes. this guy is off his nut.

but, not here to write about the mind of a madman, who is really just a 5 year old on the playground taking his ball and going home.

a good day today. an off day from my schedule, and one that i am enjoying immensely. back at it tomorrow though, and with that, another week of doing what i do beckons.

so, with that thought, and the thought of what i need to do in the next little while, i will, as always, hope that you and yours are not in any areas of conflict,

and, as always,

i bid you,

peace.

interesting day.

within the space of a few hours, i got not one, but three messages based on me sending money to people. now, that in and of itself isn’t that remarkable, but the timing was funny. oh, and a cryptic ‘hey’ email too, which i would suspect was a prelude to, if i answered it, asking for money as well. (addendum, it was…LOL) and no, i didn’t answer it

at any rate, one message was telling me of a ‘plan’ to find some money, meaning, i need money, please swoop in and save me. the other was, i need groceries and money to pay my power bill, and the third was a long written message telling me that the job was lost due to the company shutting down with no notice, and ‘how will i feed my kid?? i’ve not stopped crying’.

now, sure, the last one tugs on your heartstrings, it does, but again, people seem to think that i am this unlimited source of money that is to be sent anytime someone says ‘i’m stressed, you have to, YOU have to save me’.

huh.

no.

even when things change, in about 4 weeks, and then 25 weeks after that, and then 24-32 weeks after that, am i going down the road of saviour again. not that i am heartless, well, yes, i am, but that’s another kettle of popcorn, but the days of me coming to the rescue, of people i don’t really even know, are over. done. dusted. and put out with the recycling.

when i moved, just over a year ago, i left a small town, where i had people who knew me, neighbours who were pretty cool for the most part, and a routine, albeit somewhat boring. well, until i started my journey into being more present in my parents’ lives that is.

i came to the ‘big city’. people still know me. my routines have changed, and became events and dates driven. and while i do enjoy things like that, it became too much. too many people were grasping on to my largesse, and it made me lose sight of me. mea maxima culpa though, as i let this happen, going with the flow as it were, but no matter the genesis of the problem, a problem it became.

so, i left my world behind, changed my #, and walked away to go to the other side of the world, and just immerse myself into work. i started a diet, started paying attention to what i was eating, and i started to walk more. so far it is paying off. i’ve lost almost 10kg, 22 or so pounds for you imperial measure folks with more to go. i feel better, but not 100%, so on i go with my journey.

do i miss that world, that high fashion, drink champagne while you shop for two thousand dollar cashmere sweaters? well, yes. and no. i miss the champagne. LOL. i mean, who wouldn’t? and i do miss seeing my sales associates whom i very much like. but do i miss the environment as a whole? no. i’ve got a bunch of drawers full of clothes that i forgot i had. a closet full of thousand dollar shirts that i haven’t worn, and pairs of shoes that are still untouched by both my feet and the ground.

it’s been mentioned, by more than one person, that they love seeing me in my ‘element’. i’ve been told that i’m personable (debatable), that i bring energy into my time spent with them, and that generally i’m just a nice guy. thank you, but i’m just who i am. not a lot of thought goes into it.

i was even told, by my favourite server, at probably my favourite restaurant, that when the staff knows that i am coming in, the vibe changes. huh. whatever that means, but i’m thinking that it’s a good thing. again, i just do what i do. that’s all.

but back to the original topic of this post today. not a new thought, nor one that i perceive will ever go away, but those three messages, two hinting at, one blatant, speak to again, people think that i am a bank, and that in times of trouble, i am going to swoop in and save the day.

as far as i know, i don’t have a large S on my chest, nor do i have a red cape or theme music. ok, i’m Tony Stark just without the cool red and gold suit, but that is another story, for another time.

no swooping will be done. not today, not tomorrow (which by the way, is always today) and not in the future. my days as a personal saviour are over. until the day that i’m comfortable enough with being back in the world that i left at any rate.

so, as always, i hope that you and yours aren’t in any place of conflict, and

as always,

i bid you,

peace

a journey of late. can’t really classify it as a spiritual one, not in the truest sense of the word, or phrase if you will, but one that will, i hope, extricate me from past behaviours, or rather, actions that were harmful to my sense of worth, and well-being.

no, i’m not having a breakdown, i’m just trying to recover something that i think i lost, or perhaps, thought i should have, and need to have, as part of my life.

i was in a cycle of self-destruction, and let myself go down that path, too readily at times, with the word ‘no’ being by and large, absent from my vocabulary.

at any rate, i think that i am on the road, again, to a better place. i’ve lost some weight, almost 20lbs so far, with more to come, or go, if you will, and my separation from the, let’s call them ‘distractions’ of my past, almost complete.

i will admit that there are, at times, moments not of regret, but of a mild wistfulness, of things lost, or put aside, but those are brief, and are gradually becoming less and less present in my life.

back now, and as i write this, i’m about 2 hours into my 11+ hour sojourn back to South Africa. plane is still murmuring with activity as the cabin crew go about their tasks. dinner is upcoming, and after that, well, my usual, meaning listening to music or an audiobook. i eschew watching anything on flights as i find it mindless. yes, ok, does help pass the time, especially on long flights, but for the life of me, i cannot get into watching a movie on a small screen. and watching it on a phone? madness. don’t know how people do it.

at any rate, should be a quiet flight up here in the front of the plane, and upstairs too, which i always like having that option. 747’s are an old plane, but such a grand way to fly.

a lot to do when i arrive tomorrow morning, not the least of which is to walk into a series of ‘help us out of this mess we are in’ meetings. ah, the life i lead. Bob the Sweeper to the rescue. LOL.

i love how people, and you can put whomever you want into that slot, but for the purposes of this little mini-commentary, you can put my ex-. anyhow, i love how ‘people’ get so indignant and pushy when they think that they are in the right, or have the upper hand, and feel that i am somewhat beneath them, but when the tide turns, and it is i who is clearly on the side of good, it is crickets. funny.

dinner is being served now, so i will leave you for the nonce.

as always, i do hope that you and yours are safe, and not in any place of conflict. for those of you who are mother’s or have mothers still in your life, i wish you and yours a happy mothers day.

and as always,

i bid you,

peace.

this bit of writing today, as i was sitting, alone (again) in my hotel room, mind wandering a bit due to the lack of sleep (a), and the adjustment to a new time zone (b), and whilst perusing my files that are cloud based, this was one of the documents i found.

it was written a few years ago, almost 4 to be precise, and while not all of it can be said to pertain to my current state of tenuous existence, i think the majority of it still holds some truth.

anyhow, here it is, unabridged, and unedited for you to read, glance over, or dismiss entirely.

as always, i bid you, until i see you again,

peace.

I am a complicated man, yet I am absurdly simple. I am calm yet filled with inexplicable rage.

There are demons inside me, buried but raising their snouts to the surface now and again, yet, my soul is empty with no overriding passion except for music, food and learning as much as I can about whatever it is I am thinking about.

My life, such as it has been, was, is, one of tremendous highs and Dante levels of hell lows. And right now, I am evolving into something, or someone, that I can’t see yet, but I know that he is there.

I am writing all of this not to elicit or evoke empathetic or sympathetic feelings, nor am I seeking counsel, only as an explanation as to why I need to be gone, at least for a good while, until this evolution takes better hold and I can be clear in my mind, what it is that I am supposed to be.

I care about who I care about, and generally do not put myself to the forefront of anything. It is how I am wired, me and Amos, and 58 years of this has made changing an onerous prospect.

Special, I am not. An apologist for my abilities neither am I. I do what I do, and that is all I know to do.

I need to not be here. This is my time to go away from everything that I knew, and re-craft my existence and forge a new path to follow. I know that this sounds melodramatic, but it is quite the truth. My coming back to Canada changed me, and not, I would argue, for the best. So, an alteration of existence needs to be effected.

Read once that a character was like a wild person who stumbled into civilization and cannot find their way back to the wilderness. That, to a point, sums me up. I found myself in some sort of complacent existence, that wasn’t me, and I am struggling to find my way back to the road that I was on. Perhaps to meet myself along the way, to make amends, and then continue the journey.

Thank you, for being you. A good egg as it were. An amazing friend. A shoulder when I needed it, and a sharer of passions.

Keep the faith. Stay strong as I know you will. You are truly, good people.

kevin

to me, to you.

Keep Me in Your Heart

Song by Warren Zevon

Shadows are fallin’ and I’m runnin’ out of breath
Keep me in your heart for a while
If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for a while

When you get up in the mornin’ and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for a while
There’s a train leavin’ nightly called “When All is Said and Done”
Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Sometimes when you’re doin’ simple things around the house
Maybe you’ll think of me and smile
You know I’m tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for a while

Hold me in your thoughts
Take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes
Keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver’s headed north up to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for a while
These wheels keep turnin’ but they’re runnin’ out of steam
Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

I hope you and yours have had a wonderful Easter, if you subscribe to that holiday, and that you and they are not in any areas of conflict,

And, as always,

I bid you,

peace.

i fell the other day. walking from a street onto a sidewalk, i stepped awkwardly and my right ankle twisted and i landed on my back. huh. from someone who has had incredible balance his whole life, this, while only one event (although another stumble happened a year ago, another story) and a small one at that, it rankled, and mildly concerned me. again, huh.

a lot is going on in my life, things that i cannot control, some that i can, and others that i should in all probability just leave the fuck alone. knowing me though, and the proclivities of my brain, i won’t, however that is another kettle of popcorn altogether.

i started re-watching the Newsroom. great series, created by Aaron Sorkin he of West Wing and other cinematic endeavours, fame. at any rate, so much, all of this series strikes a cord with me, but one really pointed part of it, really speaks to what is going on in the world, read, those morons to the south of me, today.

Read this speech. really fucking READ it. and try and get what it says ingrained into you. apply it to your country. i know that i have tried to make parts of it fit the country that i currently call my permanent (for now) residence.

we really aren’t doing that well folks. as a species. we basically suck. Covid and the recent events in the US have spoken to that in resounding volumes.

and no, this isn’t me being political. this is me, attempting to be a human. something that i, in the past, and really even today, fail miserably at.

for your reading pleasure, i leave the speech.

and as always, in addition to wishing you and yours a very Happy Easter, if that is something you celebrate,

i bid you,

peace,

Jennifer Johnson: Can you say why America is the greatest country in the world?

Sharon: Diversity and opportunity.

Moderator: Lewis?

Lewis: Freedom and freedom… so let’s keep it that way.

Moderator: Will?

Will McAvoy: The New York Jets.

Moderator: No, I’m going to hold you to an answer on that. What makes America the greatest country in the world?

Will McAvoy: Well, Lewis and Sharon said it. Diversity and opportunity and freedom and freedom.

Moderator: I’m not letting you go back to the airport without answering the question.

Will McAvoy: Well, our Constitution is a masterpiece. James Madison was a genius. The Declaration of Independence is, for me, the single greatest piece of American writing…

[Professor keeps staring]

Will McAvoy: You don’t look satisfied.

Moderator: One’s a set of laws and the other’s a declaration of war. I want a human moment from you… what about the people? Why is America…

Will McAvoy: It’s not the greatest country in the world, professor. That’s my answer.

Moderator: You’re saying…

Will McAvoy: Yes.

Moderator: Let’s talk about…

Will McAvoy: Fine.

[Turns to Sharon]

Will McAvoy: Sharon, the NEA is a loser. Yeah, it accounts for a penny out of our paycheck, but he

[gestures to Lewis]

Will McAvoy: gets to hit you with it anytime he wants. It doesn’t cost money, it costs votes. It costs airtime and column inches. You know why people don’t like liberals? Cause they lose. If liberals are so fucking smart, how come they lose so god damn always?

Sharon: Hey!

Will McAvoy: [Turns to Lewis] And with a straight face, you’re gonna tell students that America is so star-spangled awesome that we’re the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom. Japan has freedom. The UK. France. Italy. Germany. Spain. Australia… Belgium! has freedom… 207 sovereign states in the world, like 180 of ’em have freedom.

Moderator: Alright…

Will McAvoy: [Looks at Jenny] And, yeah, you… sorority girl. Just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there are some things you should know. One of them is: There is absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we’re the greatest country in the world. We’re 7th in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 49th in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, 3rd in median household income, number 4 in labor force and number 4 in exports. We lead the world in only three categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real and defense spending – where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined, 25 of whom are allies. Now, none of this is the fault of a 20-year-old college student, but you, nonetheless, are without a doubt a member of the worst period generation period ever period, so when you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world, I don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about!… Yosemite?

[Stunned silence; Jenny looks deeply humiliated]

Will McAvoy: … It sure used to be. We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reasons. We passed laws, struck down laws – for moral reasons. We waged wars on poverty, not on poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors, we put our money where our mouths were and we never beat our chest. We built great, big things, made ungodly technological advanced, explored the universe, cured diseases and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists AND the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it. It didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election and we didn’t scare so easy. We were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed… by great men, men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore.

[looks back at the professor]

Will McAvoy: Enough?

a long time coming.

To Whom It May Concern,

Let me be clear: it is not my responsibility to pay everyone’s bills. I am not the bank, I am not a safety net, and I’m not here to rescue people every time they fall short — especially when it’s become a pattern.

I’m exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, and financially. I’ve stretched myself thin trying to help others, often at the expense of my own needs. And instead of appreciation, what I feel is taken for granted — like my support is expected, not valued.

It hurts to feel used. To be called on only when there’s a crisis, and forgotten when things are fine. That’s not a healthy relationship, and I won’t continue to enable it.

I have my own life, my own struggles, and my own responsibilities. From here on out, I’m choosing to protect my peace, my time, and my finances. If that sounds harsh, it’s only because I’ve been too soft for too long.

respectfully yours,

and bidding you, as always,

peace,

Bob

where i am. a thunderstorm is raging, yet somehow my world, that has been turbulent of late, is drifting towards being more at peace. don’t ask me how i know, just how my brain is working of late.

in the past, and i am positive that i have written about this before, music has been my saving grace. whether it was just picking up my guitar, sitting at whatever keyboard, if any, and playing whatever came out of my fingers, or just putting on an artist that had created sounds that meant to me more than i was consciously able to recognize, but music, on more than one occasion, has saved me.

and saved me again this day.

as alluded to in past posts, myriad mistakes were committed by yours truly in the last how many ever years, and digging out from under them is happening, but going slowly. and yet, today, whilst listening to Melissa, who has saved me in the past, i realized that nothing is so insurmountable as to be impossible. am i struggling? yes, in a word, i am.

struggling with at times crushing self-doubt, being, as someone said to me once, too nice, and a plethora of other maladies that i am sure a therapist would have a field day with. a costly one, but a field day nonetheless.

i am overweight. my fitness isn’t what it should be. and my brain, while still a great tool, has lost some of its’ vigor for the task of keeping this ship afloat.

so, i turned yet again, to a gift, given to me by both powers that be, and my parents, and found solace therein.

some would say that i am a good person, and this has been documented on here in the past i know. i have my moments i’m sure, but deep down inside of me, i know that i am not how others may perceive me. i really am not.

this past weekend, i, yet again, walked away from my world. one that i sort of liked to be honest, but one that would have been the end of me had i stayed as one of its’ inhabitants. this i know for certain, make no mistake.

there are those of you who may mourn my loss, while others may lash out with criticism and insults, and there are others who may just brush it off as the behaviour of someone who just isn’t all there. on that i would tend to agree with you at times. sometimes, i really do feel that my persona is somewhat eccentric and not quite balanced.

but, i am taking steps to rectify this world, and my place in it. i’ve lost 5 or so pounds in the last week. not a lot i grant you, but it is a start. as previously mentioned, i’ve cut myself off from the, how i saw it, harmful world, with an eye towards one day being able to reintegrate myself in it, without the outcome of losing myself at the same time. that, though, dependent on whether that world accepts me back. i know part of it will, but not sure that part is what i want anymore.

music though, thank you, has saved me yet again, and i am so very grateful for the innate passion that was given to me, and the outward ability that my parents endeavoured to foster in me at a young age. thank you again Mom and Dad, from the bottom of my scarred heart. i cannot thank you enough.

at any rate, i will finish up my glass of red, turn off the lights, and listen to the sounds of nature as i, hopefully, fall into a dreamless, and less fractured than normal, sleep.

i hope you and yours are all well, and not in any areas of conflict,

and as always,

i bid you,

peace.