a journey of late. can’t really classify it as a spiritual one, not in the truest sense of the word, or phrase if you will, but one that will, i hope, extricate me from past behaviours, or rather, actions that were harmful to my sense of worth, and well-being.

no, i’m not having a breakdown, i’m just trying to recover something that i think i lost, or perhaps, thought i should have, and need to have, as part of my life.

i was in a cycle of self-destruction, and let myself go down that path, too readily at times, with the word ‘no’ being by and large, absent from my vocabulary.

at any rate, i think that i am on the road, again, to a better place. i’ve lost some weight, almost 20lbs so far, with more to come, or go, if you will, and my separation from the, let’s call them ‘distractions’ of my past, almost complete.

i will admit that there are, at times, moments not of regret, but of a mild wistfulness, of things lost, or put aside, but those are brief, and are gradually becoming less and less present in my life.

back now, and as i write this, i’m about 2 hours into my 11+ hour sojourn back to South Africa. plane is still murmuring with activity as the cabin crew go about their tasks. dinner is upcoming, and after that, well, my usual, meaning listening to music or an audiobook. i eschew watching anything on flights as i find it mindless. yes, ok, does help pass the time, especially on long flights, but for the life of me, i cannot get into watching a movie on a small screen. and watching it on a phone? madness. don’t know how people do it.

at any rate, should be a quiet flight up here in the front of the plane, and upstairs too, which i always like having that option. 747’s are an old plane, but such a grand way to fly.

a lot to do when i arrive tomorrow morning, not the least of which is to walk into a series of ‘help us out of this mess we are in’ meetings. ah, the life i lead. Bob the Sweeper to the rescue. LOL.

i love how people, and you can put whomever you want into that slot, but for the purposes of this little mini-commentary, you can put my ex-. anyhow, i love how ‘people’ get so indignant and pushy when they think that they are in the right, or have the upper hand, and feel that i am somewhat beneath them, but when the tide turns, and it is i who is clearly on the side of good, it is crickets. funny.

dinner is being served now, so i will leave you for the nonce.

as always, i do hope that you and yours are safe, and not in any place of conflict. for those of you who are mother’s or have mothers still in your life, i wish you and yours a happy mothers day.

and as always,

i bid you,

peace.