All of you.

Please.

The rumours of my demise are greatly exaggerated. I’m not dead. Really? I’m sure that there is a list of those folks that would wish that, and it has been tried before, but no, still on the right side of the grass. For what that’s worth at any rate.

Do you really want to know why I left? Besides the glaringly obvious I mean? I left not because I am running away from things, although some of you are sure to assume that. And I am not running towards something that I don’t know what it is. Again, assumptions I’m sure abound.

I left because I am sick and tired of being me. And I am thoroughly disgusted by my brother and his wife who I am sure will have a special place in hell assigned to them when once that happens.

That’s why I left. I no longer want to be associated, in contact, or any other way connected with someone who bears MY family name, and I had it first you fucker. ME! 😊

And really? You thought I was dead? Yeah, ok. If that happened, I would probably end up at a card table selling tickets to the Preacher’s Wife (old Whitney movie) or tourist guides to the Dante exhibition. So no, not dead.

Am I where you think I am? No, most likely not. I’m where I think I need to be, but not completely where I should be. If that makes sense, then someone explain it to me please.

There are those of you who, perhaps rightly so, think I ghosted you. For that, I sincerely and from the bottom of my size 10’s, apologise.

Some of you are collateral damage, lost to the vagaries of my ever-complicated brain. Again, for that, I sincerely, and without any reservations, beg your forgiveness.

Not sure that any of you will understand why I did this, save for perhaps one of you. That one who knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and whom I will dearly miss for the rest of my days.

They say, I know, the ubiquitous ‘they’ that, well, they say a lot of things. But the one thing that they say is that time heals all wounds. Personally, I think that is bullshit, but hey, what do I know? I just walked away from my life, so who am I to question ‘they’.

I wonder what AI will think of this one. LOL. Do you think that a machine will ever come up with, wow, are you ever fucked up. 😊 If so, well, I’m at the head of the line.

I’ve heard it bandied about the water cooler that I live in the past. Maybe. Force of habit I suppose after a great deal of my life spent being hammered by it. Hoping for tomorrow too. Yeah, no. Tomorrow never comes.

I do what I do folks, and I did what I did. Do I question you and what you are doing? No. I have no right to that. So? And ergo, shouldn’t the same be afforded me? Why are people questioning this? Or are they? Who knows? I most certainly don’t.

At the end of the day, and the end of my day comes earlier than yours, I left because I wanted to sever myself off from things, and people that were in my mind, detrimental to me and my journey. I cut off the head of the snake I hope. Just so happens that some of the other creatures in the forest were affected too. It wasn’t my intention to do so, just happened that way. Had to do it fully, that was the only way.

So, on I go with the way back to the wilderness. What I will find there remains a mystery to me, I just know that I won’t be getting requests for money anymore, or whatever.

I also know that I can be who I choose to be, and Bob looks good right now.

Be at peace everyone. Be good to yourselves and be good to those around you.

I am not important enough to be sad over. Trust me on this one. I am not.

And for those of you who think that I spend too much time in the past. 1919. Read it.

I leave you all to your days/evenings/nights.

The journey awaits.

Pax.