that i inflict upon the unsuspecting readership, being you, there are 2 or 3 or 4 that don’t get past me getting distracted by one thing or another.

weekends are especially hard on me. yes, i am aware, weekends, by and large, and generally considered by the majority of you out there, are to be seen and classified as relaxation days/periods/times, what have you.

to me, they are a waste of two days. end of story.

as alluded to in the past, and, oddly enough, the name of this site, my brain, as is its’ wont, chafes at the inactivity that a weekend seemingly, and does to a large extent, enforce.

i am alone, not by choice. no, well, that’s not entirely true. happenstances and the confluence of events, bad timing and other wise have colluded to bring to my existence this period of solitary living.

do i appreciate the quiet? at times, yes. do i miss being with the person that i was meant to be with? without the shadow of a doubt, a resounding ‘HELL YES!’. that forceful enough for you?

i don’t understand weekends. where i used to live, in the Middle East, our weekends were either Thursday/Friday, or Friday/Saturday, or a mixture of one or the other. so, 20 years of not having the same week as the rest of the world, brings to me a habit of despising those days that others venerate and bow down to and look to with glorious expectations.

so, i sit, and think. do some errands. listen to music and read. but mostly i try and keep up with my brain and the unceasing and never ending flow of data in and about and out of my grey matter.

and please do not mistake physical inactivity with inactivity. brain boy is always working, even when i awake in the middle of the night, it is doing math equations with what time it is on the clock. you know, 4:22 AM. 4 divided by 2 is 2. 4 subtract 2 is 2, and on and on. yes, i’m aware that i have problems in answer to your statement that i do, indeed, have problems.

not sure where this brain came from. i was born with it would be the simple answer. and the easiest and most flip i think.

a deeper reply would be that my brain, and it’s wiring were developed over time, and with that passing of the clock, the connections, while tenuous and frayed at times, have become more, i think, in tune with where i am going (back to the wilderness) and where i hope to end up.

yes, i still get frustrated. i still get annoyed. and dare i say it, pissed off with those daily occurrences that i feel should be within my control and yet aren’t for some unfathomable reason.

am i my own worst enemy on most of this? yes. why would you even ask that? don’t we all, at times, exhibit that behaviour that is so detrimental to our own well being that it beggars disbelief? sure we do, and we would be doing ourselves a disservice if we thought otherwise.

at any rate, weekends, in a word…’suck’. to me anyhow.

good note to end on, and end i shall.

until i visit these pages again, and put forth more drivel for your consumption,

i wish you all the best of the season, if you subscribe to the festivities surrounding you,

and as always,

i bid you.

peace