things on my mind.

not sure where to begin as it happens. would like to say that i could start at the start, and give a resounding middle, and end with a flourish, however the quandary is, at what point in the narrative of what is on my mind, do i start, and where exactly is the finish line?

interesting to me, when people around me start to whine and complain about whatever it is they are whining and complaining about. the weather is chief amongst the issues at times. wow. yes, it’s 30 degrees C where you are.. but in places in Iraq and regions, the temps were over 50 the other day, and in Al Haif today, (Iraq) it is 47. So, 30 is, what, hot? Drink more water, or stay inside.

I hear all the time how stressed people are. About this thing or that thing. People have friends, family, a support network, yet they look to me to solve their fucking problems. And yet, well, just and yet…

I hate waiting. I’ve been waiting since February for one aspect of a project to begin, and it is down to the last week now, so it’s been an arduous process. One that has been filled with bullshit, outright prevarication, vague words, and more outright bullshit. However, down to the short strokes now, so once that is done, a number of other things are able to be unleashed. 38 week plan for one of them. That I am looking forward to. Of course, at the end of it, comes a 52 week jaunt, but that one will be easy.

Where to now St Peter…

It is interesting to me, how, when life is stressing folks out, all they can see are their own petty little issues. Well, I say petty because that’s all I hear from those that message me. Small, shitty little things. Like a fucking phone bill, or rent, whatever. Fuck me. You could be in Yemen, or the Ukraine, or Texas, and facing not only life changing, but life ending situations, and you complain that your phone isn’t working? Fuck off.

A fucking phone. Phones, smart ones at any rate, should be fucking banned. Let’s go back to dial up… LOL

People love to tell me what to do. Or how to do. I find it funny. Fuck off. Attend to your own lives, and leave mine alone. Oh wait, you can’t. I have to pay for your life, so mine isn’t worth anything.

Huh.

Surprised a former colleague with a gift the other day. Nothing big. Just a bag of wine gums, but it created a smile. So that was nice. Door was opened for a renewal of dialogue. Not walking through it though.

Closed ( I hope fervently) another door yesterday. That one though, was more of a swinging, or revolving door with no way of latching it, so hopefully the latch that was installed takes, and I can relegate that door to the hallway of past bad memories. One can only hope, can’t one?

Still on my weight loss journey. A blip here and there, but back on the down elevator, so to speak, so let us see what this week brings. I know where I want to be, so that’s where I am heading. Well, past where I want to be as it happens, but first I need to get to where I want, then go past it. If that makes sense.

Why do people feel it is imperative to ‘post’ things on whatever social idiocy account they have? Sometimes multiple accounts? What drives that madness? Why are we so hell bent on telling the world about our daily lives? Are we that insecure that we have to get validation constantly?

I for one, have no social media, as I think it is a cancer on society, and the only real outlet I have is here, and no one reads this anyhow. Well, not no one, some do, but the list is very small. Mainly I post here just to get stuff out of my head to make room for the myriad other bits and bobs messing about in my brain.

Plus, I like writing. In the past, I did have blog sites that were read, by many as it happens, but now, as mentioned, I just do it for me.

At any rate, I need to keep on with my day, so for the nonce I will love you and leave you.

As always, I wish for you to be healthy and happy, and not in any conflict areas,

And, as always,

I bid you,

Peace.

a post by this person, who has a site called red’s wrap. neat site, and i very much enjoyed poking around her posts.

at any rate, the post was titled ‘what bothers me most’…

huh.

myriad things bother me, and i am hard pressed to put a ‘bothers most’ label to any of them, however, i will endeavour, for the sake of the exercise to see what i can do. 🙂

one thing that does bother me, a lot to be honest is this;

getting asked for money, to pay this or that, or someone else’s this or that and not even the asker’s this or that, and then having communication disappear once the funds have been sent. mea maxima culpa for even entertaining the idea of sending anything in the first place, however, deed was done, and now, radio silence.

this is not the first time, but i daresay it is the last.

getting hinted at messages. you know the ones… ‘ oh i’m so stressed, not sure how things can work out, i have bills to pay….’ not an ask per se, but it is there if you look between the lines.

but the send then nothing thing irritates me. really, really.

anyhow, life is life is, and i am moving on.

weather headaches the last couple of days. pressure changes mess with my sinuses. not a lot i can do, but weather (no pun intended) them, and let them drift away on their own.

still away, but the end to the absence is coming closer, and i for one could not be happier. i miss my home, and my life, such as it was/is, and once back, i know that things will have changed, and will have to change, so that is a good thing.

i’ve been re-evaluating my thought processes on several things/fronts of late, and i know now, at least i think i know now, where i am going to be in about 38-40 weeks. and that is a good thing as it happens.

a lot of ‘disturbances’ from the past will be eradicated, and the ones that i let back in, will only be there if they are of benefit to me, not the other way around. it’s only taken me 62 years to get to that point, so there is hope for me yet i suppose. LOL.

one part though, one of the past pieces of my life, i just can’t figure out as of yet. people, some, say this this should be in my life, whilst others say that i don’t need this aspect of my life to continue. what to do yanni, what to do.

at any rate, i will do what i do, and make sure that what i am doing is only going to enrich and improve my life on an ongoing basis. have to look out for me, you know? as no one else will.

until i see you again,

i bid you, as always,

peace.

not a voice note today, as i am not feeling it, and besides, i actually prefer writing at times, most of the times.

in my limited spare time, when not reading work docs or trying to read a book, i admit that i poke around Youtube. yeah, i know, fucking Youtube.. I give my son grief over it, and, to be honest, rightly so as he spends an inordinate amount of time on that platform.

at any rate, Rick Beato is a musician, and really, one of the best interviewers that i have come across. as one commenter put it, he asks a question, then gets out of the way…

one of the posts i guess you call it, was with Adam Duritz, he of Counting Crows fame. it was an amazing interview, in depth, open, honest, and Adam laid bare a lot of his own self when it came to his songs, his own struggles with fame, etc.. and it was also a time to explore the background of some of their/his, songs.

you will, or should, know many of them. Mr Jones. Round Here, Anna Begins, A Long December, etc..

one though, that didn’t come up, and in all honesty, at just over 1 minute and change, why would it, was the song ‘Walkaways’.

i love this song, and it speaks to how i am truly feeling now, and have been feeling for a long time, and have struggled with. yes folks, i struggle. one of the reasons why i continue to sporadically post to this blog even though i know it reaches few, and is ignored by many. LOL.

anyhow, the lyrics i present here for you. look up the song, and the band, well worth your time.

as always,

i bid you,

peace.

I’ve gotta rush away
She said, I’ve been to Boston before
And anyway, this change I’ve been feeling
Doesn’t make the rain fall
No big differences these days
Just the same old walkaways

Someday, I’m gonna stay
But not today