on a sunday, thoughts, as is their wont, swirling about my cranium, all jostling for the chance to get out. or at least be somewhere that i give credence to them.

hours counting down now, to my supposed return to the other side of the world from whence i came, and yet, there are nagging feelings of doubt that i will. at least not on the planned date of departure.

consensus from those where i lay my head at nights, usually, is that i am missed, and they are eager for my return.

nice sentiments to be sure, but for the most part, i think that they are balderdash. no one misses my presence. not in the truest sense of the word at any rate. sure, they miss me coming in, and spending money, and they miss when i take them to dinner and pick up the cheque be it 500 or 5000$, but missing me, as me? hm, i will take does Kevin like tofu, for 500$ please Alex. NO, being the correct response to that.

i will grant you, that there are those of you, who genuinely believe that they miss me. thanks for that. yet i would submit your honour, that some of those folks, have never even met me, nor do they know more than the trifling bit about me.

i’m not a nice guy. i don’t have a good heart. and there are times when i can really just be a prick.

so, why, i ask sincerely, would anyone in their right mind, miss someone like that? oh wait, i know, MONEY!

yes folks, the ever present money. gelt. spondilucks. geetas. in the past, i was free with it. in the future, i will not be.

so, that being said, or typed, if you will, will those of those who say they miss me, give me the time of day when i reach out to say hello?

or will i be given the proverbial cold shoulder so to speak.. time will tell i should think but don’t bet the farm on the answer being anything but in the affirmative.

has this trip been good? it has, for the most part. got some things done. learned quite a bit. created a few more companies that will be, or should be able to handle what is needed to be handled down the road.

opened up a few doors for future involvement in this part of the world, and elsewhere, so overall, yes, i can say this trip was positive.

not without its twists and turns, and things going south for a bit, but that is life, is it not? it is, sayeth I, it surely is.

so, the hours tick away, and i suppose that if i am truly going, i should most likely get my tickets in order so that a departure can actually be put into place. and therein lies the quandary. do i? don’t i? should i? shouldn’t i? i am of two minds on the subject as T. Lee jones intoned in his role as Harvey Dent aka Two Face. two minds indeed. more like one mind split into myriad sections and subsections. LOL

at any rate, i sit here, at my desk, well, the desk in my hotel room that i have, for the most part, called home over the last while, and cast my gaze about the environment in which i have resided. a nice room, suite actually. great staff. good surroundings. really, when all is said and done, not a bad ecosystem to have been a part of for the time that i have been here.

but, as the song goes, where to now, st peter…

think out of the box. thinking outside the box. those phrases have come up several times during this trip, and in fact pop up now and again in my sphere. i believe that i have touched on this before, but will go back to the well, so to speak, again today. what, pray tell, does it really mean, to think outside the box?

yes, ok, you can define it as thinking in the abstract or in a non-linear fashion, but that is what i do anyhow, just how my brain works, and i wouldn’t even deign to call my thinking ‘outside the box’. it is just how i think.

and, i ask, what ‘box’ is it, that you are supposed to be thinking outside of? can anyone define the ‘box’? if you are working with me, alongside me, or in my world, i want you IN MY BOX, not wandering off on some esoteric thought tangent. i want you in the program. outside the box my ass. short form for losing focus in what you are tasked with in my humble opinion. and yes, thoughts and comments as always, are welcome.

i love when people look to me for something, but aren’t willing to get involved, yet it is my fault when it doesn’t work out, or they don’t reap a profit. makes me shake my head.

hey, yeah, so, can you put 100% of the investment in, and take all the risk? and hey, we will give you 30% of the equity. what, you don’t want to do it? well, that’s not fair, now WE don’t make anything.

wow comes to mind. or better yet, how about, fuck you? that to me is a better rejoinder.

you want me to risk my capital and my name, and you don’t want to do the same, yet it is my fault when you don’t make a profit on my taking the opportunity given? huh.

you know, going back to the world, my part of it anyhow, seems on the face of it, to be a good idea, but on the other hand, going back to the same old same old isn’t appealing to me anymore. yet, staying here, where i am currently ensconced isn’t such a hot shit idea either. what to do yanni, what to do. (yanni meaning that is to say, or means, sort of, in arabic, not the music guy).

travel plans to be updated when they are i suppose, but right now i am leaning towards going home, but not, i repeat NOT reintroducing myself back into the world at large. that’s where i am at the moment, but in an hour, or tomorrow, that could change. stay tuned.

i do miss my flat though, that much is true. well, let’s see.

at any rate, my steam seems to be dwindling for the nonce, so i will take your leave if i may.

until i see you again,

i bid you, as always,

peace.