passed away in 2023 and my Dad just over a year ago. written about a few times on these pages i know, and thank you for reading them and being here.

at any rate, their picture, of them both, in their 80’s actually, is sitting on my piano, just off to the right as i look at the keyboard. so every time i sit and play, which isn’t every day, but it isn’t infrequent though, i see them looking at me.

tonight though, sitting and playing a mish mash of notes, most of them just flowing from my fingers, but some a song called Angel from Montgomery, and Walk on Water, it being a song by Eminem.

my parents, weren’t by birth my parents, but they were the only ones i knew, so, i consider myself theirs fully, if that makes sense. anyhow, they weren’t genetically linked to me, and they didn’t give me any inherent skills or talents, those, i assume came from a higher power, but, i will say this, i thank them, every. single. time. i play. be it the piano or the guitar and while the strings aren’t my forte, i can still make music, you know?

anyhow, i do thank them, for what they gave me, even though, like the song goes, i didn’t really ever live up to their expectations. perhaps in the later years, when i was going to Florida to take care of them, but for so many years, i just wasn’t good enough, you know?

do i feel that way now? i do, at times. that i am just not good enough. fatal flaw? perhaps. insecurity? maybe, although i don’t think so.

more so i would attribute it to the fact that when i was younger i truly was just never good enough. product of my environment, right? call someone stupid long enough and they believe it.

i am complicated i guess, but only to those who see me as something that i am not. i’m not Superman. I’m not Tony Stark, well, ok, I am, but that’s another story…LOL

at any rate, my parents gave me what they believed they wanted for me, whether or not i was willing to accept it or not, and trust me, i was neither willing, nor accepting. 🙂

but, now, i give joy to others, maybe, through my abilities and my talents, such as they are.

thank you Mom and Dad, for everything.

i miss you.

with love, always,

your son,

Peace.