a lot of things. LOL.

but, people, some of you think, that i need to heal. perhaps i do. not sure.

i think that i have become so adept at burying the shit that should bother me, and only deal with (mostly) daily life that a ‘healing journey’ as one of you put it, isn’t something that becomes part of my makeup.

we all need to heal, right? transgression of friends, family, bosses, what have you. being scorned or hurt by those we thought were more than what they really turned out to be. being used by others, and being shunned by flesh and blood.

do i need to heal from any of that? probably. not smart enough to know where or how to start though, so i go merrily along, creating a wake of hurt, confusion and remorse as i go.

a fucking dick i was called recently. huh. not a new one, but not one that has been associated with me for a while. years actually if, well, ever.

told that my son, youngest, does not want to talk to me. no reason given, although i suspect, perhaps wrongly, and if so my apologies, that his mother or grandmother are behind this. cunts both of them at any rate.

not sure, well, no, that’s not true, i am sure about how people see me at large. someone who smiles, knows a thing or two about a thing or two, and spends money. but you see, while the public persona perhaps is this ‘hail fellow well met’ jackanape, the private one just isn’t that.

this will sound like an excuse, because i do know that i should write more, as it cleans out the junk that is ambling about my brain, but i don’t want to just pour out the same old tripe. my life is what it is, and what it is is, somewhat of a mess at times, and others, well, less messy.

do i need to heal? yeah, i do. from a lot, nay, myriad things.

journey of a thousand miles starts with one step though, right?

thanks for being here, and i do, as always hope that you and yours are not in any area of conflict.

and, as always, i bid you,

peace.