And abandoned several posts lately, great thoughts at the beginning, and then the steam left me, or the day happened. Whatever the case, they are still sitting there, but today, well, this one will be finished because I think it will be short.

Lying in bed last night, I was going over, again, the reasons behind my seemingly abrupt departure, and concluded that we all want something in life, right?

Well, it occurred to me that what I thought I wanted, isn’t really what I needed, or need, or will require in the future.

So, what is it that I want? No really, can someone enlighten me? Because right now, I haven’t the first foggiest idea of what it is. And this comes from a person who is usually pretty good at being able to negotiate the highways and byways of life. Mostly at any rate.

What I thought I wanted turned out to be not what was needed, and what I thought I needed, turned out to be not what I wanted.

Confusion in my world reigns supreme.

I got an email today from someone that I left behind. Of all the people that I did do this injustice to, she is one of two that I most sincerely, and will forever regret. Life isn’t fair, and at times it downright sucks.

Do I though, have regrets over my leaving my life behind? Yeah, I do. Happy? I admit that I have regrets.

Some regrets you cannot avoid have happen to you, but this one, this was self manufactured, and like when I first walked into the airport when leaving for Bahrain; if I had looked back, I wouldn’t have gone.

I, in my own weird and let’s face it, fucked up brain and damaged psyche, had to do this. The final solution will never be on the table because in my opinion, it is the grossest act of selfishness that can be perpetrated.

However, a solution had to be found, and this one was the best that I could come up with.

Yes, some of you, all of you? Who knows. Got hurt. Or did you? I don’t know. But I will again apologize for it and mean it with all of my heart.

Whither thou goest, oh man of many faults? What road will you travel on, on your quest to find that which you have no idea what you are seeking.

Not sure Bob, really not sure. Sometimes though, as Mick J croons, you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need. Amen Mick my son, Amen.

Peace.